cool firecracker videos

Hallo,
The world sucks, but happily there are some things that ain't that bad! I fucking love firecrackers and the following videos are just the good shit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNEplyvyTyo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUCPDaynb7Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztayJdNpOD8

(TheOftlerer channel is very fucking cool, he's a german guy that sets a fuckton of bigass firecrackers on fire)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO-qFvBarnM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlQC8Wel8RM ( i laughed my ass off with this one )

Das ist alles

welcome to 1999

welcome everyone to the year of 1999!

This is the year I go into college! The year I leave the web.

1998 was shit as usual. All years are shit because everything is man made and mankind is what comes up in the dictionary next to cow turd. At least I hope that I am more productive during 1999, that I am able to fulfill my goals. I have a fuckton of doom wads to play through and I am planning to make some myself ( I'll drop a a link here for anyone interested in the shit I do and feels like downloading it , it won't be much kb ). Maybe this year my school won't be as repulsive as usually but that probability is lower than the probability of me liking pop music. I am looking forward to upgrade my setup for gaming. I am getting this new crt that has really good images. Hope I can at least feel like the year wasn't useless just like the previous ones. 

People are like, "oh I gotta start the year the right way" or " new year new me ", BITCH, the human population could have settled the year arrangement in a total different way. Years and al time things were made to be practical, nothing else. Big corporations take advantage and make up all the holidays. New year's eve has it's own props and decorations that are expensive, and since every year is different not everyone keeps the decorations from the previous year. 
People put so many hopes and they act like they are changed. It's like every basic bitch has an epiphany on new year's eve. Change takes effort, discipline and a fuckton of patience, not a period of 365 days. Before you know it january is gone, and when you close your eyes there goes the millennium and you are inside your grave! 

shit that fucking annoys me

• me
• everyone
• my  brain
• liars
• hypocrisy
• time
• space
• inflation
• society
• bullshit
• not having control 
• the earth
• human life
• the big bang

keeping up with the synapses

Hallo, people of that read my shitty internet page. How are things going?
For me, it's the end of the first term of school, I'm already "enjoying" christmas break. I can't believe the first term's already gone, it's so fucking weird. I have been freaking out about senior year and the end of high school and me as a whole and a third/big ass mark is already gone. Fucking spooky amirite?
It's kinda late and I am freaking out about shit, well I am always freaking out about shit. I currently have been worrying about the fact that I have to go to college. Since I have to, might as well be fucking able to get to the college I want to get in. Jesus, my irresponsibility murders me, I could've achieved so many shit, but instead, I am this guy that everyone considers and calls smart, but deep down I acknowledge that those whose brains do such mistake are blind. I wish I could be smart, but I am not. And that murders me. Ánd it is also all my fault. All of this builds up weight in my head.
time is so static yet so fluid like. it bothers me that I can be in my room, trying to find something to do, and time is passing really slowly but then out of a sudden time slips through my fingers like some vaseline on an inmate's hand. I just don't want it to end. This thing of being a teenager, of being careless and supposedly not caring about the future. But jesus all mighty does the future try to fuck me up. This conditional freedom that feels so bad yet so good. This sadness that we cry about but eat it with a big spoon at night while laughing and smiling. Ah, it's so funny, all this bittersweet hypocrisy that we stuff our pockets with. Give me all of that till I can only see magazine quizzes and sitcoms, till I can only know about saturday's basketball game or about that chick that is pregnant. Please, never let it end!
 I just can't believe I too am human.

i can't believe we're still here, in this damned spiral, soon we won't have more complaints

Father

My father is an interesting person. I am quite unsure of how I should write this.
My father was born in veterans day ( 11th November ). I was born on November 9th.
He is an engineer and likes listening to rock music. My father is also an atheist and one of his biggest passions is reading.
My father taught me how to do many things. As much as I like my father he is not present with me. Since I am 8 years old my father left our house to work abroad. He hasn't been to half of my birthdays. And after my parents got divorced I started only seeing him during summer break. I don't blame him for anything. My father is a man that wants to be free from the societal norms and just accomplish his dreams. But more importantly, my father is a man that regrets lots of things. He regrets the bachelor's degree he took in college. And recently I think that my father thinks quite regularly how much better his life would be if he never had children. I don't blame him as well. The thought of having children is dumb to me. In such a rigged world no poor human should be exposed to this carnal way of living.
Me and my father like to watch Tarantino movies on our projector. My father likes to take me to cool rock music festivals. My father likes doing dumb dances with me and my family as we listen to stupid music.
My father doesn't really know his son, and I question myself if he is aware of that and ignores the situation or he simply thinks everything is okay.
My father takes me and my brother to cool camping trips where we get to see nature and animals. Me and my dad have conversations about life and how meaningless and important it can be at the same time.
My father's feelings and the way he expresses them make me think I am the primary mistake on my family.
My father is indeed an interesting person

what is this

During the relatively short lifespan of this blog, I never cared to explain its true purpose.
This blog was created with the intent of tracking my thoughts.
I wanted to share the progress of my state of mind and my opinions, so that one day every individual that might be interested could see how I was. Because, like I mentioned in my previous post, I will have to eventually vanish from the surface of the internet. The only thing left of my existence will be my online presence. I try to put into the words the idea and image of the kind of human that I am, even though I am aware that such a thing is quite unachievable.
Maybe people will wonder what the actual heck was on this kid's head. Truth be said, his head was full of shit.
I want to post more regularly, I'll try to put more of myself into this, I really want to leave something for the world to see,