Hallo, it's mab, mark, markus, Marco, whatever.
I'm currently 18. Ew, i know, gross. Just a while a go I was extremely edgy and determined to die (don't get me wrong I don't want to live) and all I cared about was grunge and 90s industrial rock. Now I am literally nobody. Nothing defines me anymore. I don't even try to enjoy the things that once made me happy.I don't believe in anything. I don't even do drugs or alcohol anymore, and yes, that's a negative. I just stay static. I don't know what happened to me but I have vanished. Nobody sees or notices me. Nobody ever did, but I realized I am nothing. I feel bad for nothing or for everything. And no matter how many positive conclusions I have I always forget everything, truth is, I can't focus or make memories, my brain just gave up on short term memory. I have no regret for my actions, I just wish time weren't so fast. Just that. I miss my friends, I miss how rotten and shitty my life used to be, and how it made me dream of a better future. How I was so mentally busy and didn't realize things would never be the same once I stepped out of school on the last day. I seriously don't understand myself. I want my head to not be so shaky. I wish I had kept my promises from the past and had posted all the time. Sorry. Nobody reads this, but I'm very sorry. I feel like I failed.
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