some car bumpers, timothy mcveigh's to be precise

Hallo.
i don't really know
but when i get to college i want to put some banners or bumpers or whatever the fuck on my car.
I am not gonna get this type of banners, I don't intend to die lmao. B u t, this are rad and they were sold by timothy himself so like??? I don't know much about him but this is dope
Das ist alles

STAGES OF THE SPIRAL

Hallo, 

Today I will be writing about the different stages that compose the trip through the downward spiral. Many of us have entered the spiral sometime in our lives. Most of us that did usually don't leave it. The spiral is the process that occurs within the individual's perception of self. This whole journey might be triggered by social interactions, misfortunes, wrong doings, etc... Understanding the spiral might interest any individual that is on his downwards trip. 

STAGE 1: DENIAL

The first stage of the spiral consists of doubt and denial. Some sort of event or intrusive thought (as meaningless as they can be) will result in a feeling of disconnect with our current state and a certain degree of sadness occurs. At this stage, most individuals manage to leave the spiral and proceed. They usually are able to just shake off the numbness since life seems to not be affected. In the other hand, for some select few individuals, life starts repeating these little unnerving events on a daily basis. The feelings of discomfort, doubt, denial and melancholy start to feel normal although unnerving. Meaningless things/mistakes start having consequences, the discomfort ( as little as it may seem ) won't leave you. The world starts getting greyer and you begin your journey. 

STAGE 2: IMPULSIVE ATTITUDE

At this stage it is common to feel nervosism and boredom at the same time. These very opposite emotions result in less consideration and thinking before committing certain acts. The loss of consciousness regarding choices is usually the main driving factor. The mind is just too stressed and intrigued, the individual won't think much of the many long-term consequences of his acts. Examples of this are the tendency for certain wreckless behaviours, compulsive shopping, and/or eating massive amounts of food without acknowledging it. 

STAGE 3: LACK OF MOTIVATION

This stage refers to the moment when the individual stops feeling motivated to keep up with certain everyday tasks, such as work, school, studying, etc.. It may be perceived as procrastination, but in the spiral it doesn't consist of avoiding shores. The individual loses interest and care regarding said tasks, he feels no hurry or wory to get his life on track. 

STAGE 4: LOSS OF PERSONAL MOTIVATION OR SELF

This is a very interesting part of the spiral. At this point, the individual loses interest and motivation to keep up with activities that previously provided him joy. This stage is peculiar, we witness a human losing the will to do what he enjoys doing, to abdicate from something and not feel either positive or negative emotions towards it.

STAGE 5: DISCONNECT WITH IDENTITY/PERSONALITY/ LOBOTOMY

Now things get personal. The realization of the previous effects of the spiral starts taking over. Somehow it doesn't cause much pain. The individual is indifferent. He realizes that all he previously considered part of his personality is just material, he realizes there is no substance to him. He can't see a link between his current self and his previous self anymore. He is nothing but a conjunction of chemical reactions, Pushed around by his emotions, we witness a transformation. We witness one of the creations of the spiral. At this point, some individuals are completely changed. They use this new identity, it powers them do move forward, but they're up for no good. In a similar fashion to one of a lobotmy the invidual experiences apathy as if there was a certain degree of severing of the connections in the brain's prefrontal cortex.

STAGE 6: LOSS OF BASIC VITAL ACTS

At this point is usually when there is no coming back. If you reach this point you and the spiral are just one. Some can come back, but that requires effort and gaining what the spiral took from you. At this point the melancholy and numbness have completely taken over. The individual isn't just not doing his tasks, doing hobbies, etc.. At this point, it is common to avoid many things such as (but not limited to):

• self care/hygiene
• mantaining a diet
• social interactions with loved ones

STAGE 7: UNDERGROUND LEVEL

This is the last stage of the spiral. This is the life he knows, this si the life he'll have.This stage consists of death. Some prefer to wait 'til the spiral itself ends them, others do it themselves. Throughout this stage, the individual understands that all he thought he was is not real. He sees he effects of the spiral, he sees his own creation, after all it's his life and nobodyelse's. He is rot, and as most know from science class, there's no reverse chemical reaction for rotting. He contemplates suicide, there's no substance to grip on to. Regardless of the chosen method, everyone will eventually reach the end of the spiral.

420 || weed || hitler || a new car || columbine

It is 420.
Some friends spent this day smoking together, I couldn't join because of a strong stomach ache.

For me and many people, it represents lots of things.
In 1889 Adolph Hitler was born. This man that would rule germany unethically was born 130 years ago. It is weird to think about it.

One year ago my mother bought a car, since we didn't have one and we would walk everywhere. Since then we have shared nice memories, playing mixtapes, doing family trips, going grocery shopping.

For many other people, this day marks the day that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold murdered 12 students and one teacher at columbine high school. <3 I send my best regards for the victim's families.
Knowing that these two teenage boys that are so similar to me are dead, I just can't help but to feel weird. Kids that I have so much in common with. It is strange to think, they're kids forever.
I don't know,
the future doesn't look so bright

the speed of time

Hallo internet,
Today I decided to talk about time.
I can hear the birds outside, a new day is baking.
But just some time ago I was planning to do some gaming, finishing the gameplay of Far Cry3. But now the sun is about to go up? Hmmm. Time is faster than light, not really, but why not. I don't like it. Time is buttery smooth and it slips through my fingers. Time is like a fluid that doesn't obey Newton's laws. The more you pay attention to it, it is slow. But when you finally have some fun, boom, passes as fast as an interstellar bitch. I can't believe I am not 5 years old anymore. Time did it's weird thing. Why aren't we 4th dimensional beings that can move accross time. We are enclosed to the present that is the past and the future. And our memory keeps getting shorter and shorter. Either I take too long doing basic tasks or the speed of time here on earth is getting higher.
None of this makes sense
Das ist alles

DENIAL || THE END IS NEAR

Hallo,
As of today, April 15th, I still have no idea of what I will do once everything ends. Once again I didn't make a good use of my time. Time is the most important resource and I waste it all. Throughout this years all I've been doing is acknowledge my mistakes but not correct them. It is dumb to waste my youth  like this.
 Wasted years, wasted life.
I failed to form social skills and connections, because I decided to isolate myself. I have gained the social conotation of "weird" or "freak" even though I am not that different from the mass. It feels painful to know it is my fault. To think that simple naive reactions to social discomfort have ruined me. Pathetic.
I made dumb rushed mistakes. I always regretted them and kept repeating them. That is the product of pure ignorance. It hurts to be this hypocritical. My laziness killed me. I didn't do anything relevant in the last 6 years of my life. Incompetence is my only occupation, I even managed to never be consistent with my hobbies.
There is nothing for me.
Auf wiedersehen

PEOPLE THAT ARE INCAPABLE OF EATING LIKE A HOMO SAPIENS

Hallo. 

As of recently I've been wondering how will I be ever able to live with anyone if all humans seem to eat like fucking savages. There's no need to fucking bite your cutlery, besides not being good for your teeth, it is just gross. No god damn need to groan like a damned monkey when eating. I can't believe that people make such animalistic noises when chewing. Is it really necessary to slurp that much and make such a loud fucking noise.  If it depended on me, it should be obligatory for people to eat like proper members of society. How can anyone not be ashamed of their whole existence when they are in public and dare to eat like fucking subhuman scum. I can understand the people that make noise when eating crunchy foods such as potato chips, Doritos and such, it's unavoidable, but you still don't need to shove them in your mouth like you've never seen food in your entire life, or literally breath like a cave monstruosity. People that breath their food, and yes, I meant breath, are gross. And don't tell me it's cause you need to breathe. You breath after you finish chewing, instead of just continuously shoving food in your mouth like a fucking pig.  I wish death upon those who dare to eat with their god damned mouths opened. This people don't seem to understand how to use cutlery as well. They always seem to treat it as a fucking drumset. Out of this, what annoys me the much, is that all the people that seem to have no notion of what proper manners are, are usually the same people that come from a very wealthy background, that claim they are fancy and somehow superior. Besides this gross people, I also despise the retards that think that it is normal to leave someone else's kitchen and room all dirty. All this mentally challenged mongoloids are like " but maaan, I'm so high ". And so what you're high, I've been high and i didn't feel like spreading butter all over the damn table, finish all the food, smell like fucking shit, fuck up the while damn house. All they are is fucking bubonic plague infested rats. And worse are the mothers that fail to educate their children, and let them grow to be garbage. How can any mother be proud of a kid that looks like a medieval peasant when they eat. It's just gross. And anyone that takes part on this process of degrading societal norms, please shoot yourself, do anyone a favor, shoot your family as well because your whole genetic pool is disgusting and should be drowned on zyklon-b. 

I don't think that there is anything to be added